Forgive and Forget

My wife, Pat woke before I did this morning.  That doesn’t happen too often, but it was nice to wake up and not have to make coffee. But I must admit, out of habit, when I went in the kitchen, I pulled the light cord on the fan and found myself in the dark before I realize that it had already been turned on.

I got my cup of coffee and talked to Pat for a bit and excused myself to leave her to her show that she had dvr’ed and I went to my corner in the bedroom where my PC/Camera stuff is and began to pray.

Awakening

As I prayed my prayers settled on Pat’s health issue.  As I prayed a calming came.  Pat has been through a lot since the first 30^th of December.

First, she had a massive infection that required emergency surgery and ten days later she was hit with an autoimmune disorder that has taken her memory.  She does not remember January and the first part of February as well and much of her short-term memory is garbled as well.

The wound left to remove the infected tissue is nearly healed.  But the memory, although it is showing some improvement, has a long way to go before it returns, but as I prayed for her this morning the Lord revealed to me a gift that I have been able to witness in her.  One that I had not recognized until this morning. As I was praying, I could not help but reflect on Pat’s loving nature.

Love

Those in our church family all know that at her core she blessed with a loving and encouraging heart…  Her compassion can be overwhelming at times.

As I continued to pray this garbled bible passage started to bounce around in my head.  I could not remember it exactly. That is one of the joys I live with post strokes but I do not let it get in the way. I just keep googling until I get the words together that lead me to the passage.

This morning, after typing different garbled messes in google, I found what I was trying to remember.  It was in 1 Corinthians.  It turned out to be all of chapter 13 I was mulling over, but verse 5 was the one that had sent me on the quest.  It was about the forgiveness that comes when we truly love.

1 CORINTHIANS 13:5 (NASB)

(love) It does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

I read this verse over and over and as I read it, I realized that this love was so deep that if we loved as Christ loved us we had to forgive and forget.   The section of the passage that shook me the most was clear Love “does not take into account a wrong suffered.´  The love that Christ shared.  The love that Paul spoke of did not keep a list of times they were wronged, they forgave and then would forget.

Forgive

We all talk about forgiving but we have a difficult time forgetting the wrong suffered.  We forgive the person or persons that wrong us.  We claim to hold no resentment against them, but all too often we struggle to let our guard down around them.  It sometimes is difficult to forget.

Some wounds can run deep.  They can be long lasting and though we forgive it is hard to trust them again.

Pat and I have found that praying for those that have wronged us is an amazing cure, but sometimes those wounds are slow to heal.  But things changed this morning God opened my eyes to an amazing gift that took about five or six weeks for me to recognize.  He showed me what happens to a spirit when they really can forget.

Forget

The forget part has softened Pat’s spirit so much.  The issue with Pat’s memory is difficult.  I want her to have it back.  But to see what it is like for someone with a tender spirit to truly forget wrongs or difficult things that might cause resentment is amazing.  She has such peace.  It is amazing to see what forgiveness is like when it comes with forgetting.  It seems the only thing that is present is love.

Sure, she will get frustrated.  Sometimes it is with me.  She is going through some amazingly difficult things, but the anger passes and the forgiveness and forget takes its place and she is at peace

Now I want her memory to come back, but I pray that this peace will stay.

Forgive and Forget

I pray that we both will take this experience to better forgive and forget.  It is such an amazing thing to see and experience this way.  I honestly did not grasp it until this morning and suddenly things are different.

The Lord promises not to remember our sins.  We need to do the same.

Psalms 103:12 (ESV Strong’s)

¹² as far as the east is from the west,

so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Seeing it and experiencing it in my dear wife suddenly brings peace to what had been a difficult circumstance.  I pray for her full recovery, but I pray also that this realization will not fade, and it will draw us closer to our God and His promise of forgiveness.

Closing Prayer

Father help me to not only forgive but also forget as you do. Help me to love and not consider a wrong suffered.  Lord, I thank you for forgiving me and remembering my sins no more.  Help me to forgive that completely.  In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.