The past few weeks things have been very quiet. I am uncertain as to the cause; I am only certain that my prayers and my studies were not as fruitful as they had been or should be. I will not deny that it has been difficult. At times I did not even feel like prayer or study, but I continued, even when I did not “feel” like it.
My prayers became ones solely of thanksgiving and repentance. Sometimes my heart just would ache, uncertain as to why it was so quiet.
As I plodded along the darkness and sadness of the world began to seep in as well. The wickedness was hard to fathom.
Promises
As this situation continued I made some promises to God and myself. I knew that I needed to continue to study, pray and participate in things with other believers. I promised these things, but I did struggle to keep the promises.
The first commitment was to a men’s small group I am involved in on Tuesday nights. I promised that no matter how I felt I would always be there and be prepared. That turned out to be the easiest to keep even when like this week when only two of us showed up. We had some great fellowship.
The next was study. I started pushing to study more again, but I was still having trouble. I started listening on bible gateway as I read. That seemed to help me keep my focus. But even that was difficult. So, in all this mostly I prayed. Writing, something I loved, seemed elusive and at best sporadic.
The Rising Son
As dark and quiet as it has been this week the Son has risen again. I cannot explain it. I can only say that it is brighter again. The darkness in the world has not changed. The challenges are still out there and will be, but the perspective has changed.
I did nothing different this week. I think it can best be said that I got my appetite back. The distractions did not seem as alluring, and the Lord opened the Word to me again fresh and new. As I sit here reflecting I am reminded the first verse that caused this transition was in Matthew.
Matthew 11
I was talking to a friend. A young man doing some work for me, and we were discussing life’s challenges and the importance of faith, (he is a young Christian), and I thought Matthew and the yoke of Jesus.
Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV Strong’s)
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
We talked over several days that they were working and discussed the challenges of a business and a young family and God. We talked about how finding balance is difficult. But God wants us to lean on him. We are not alone. The Holy Spirit is with us always.
Ephesians 2
Somewhere in this mix, I was getting my hair cut and started talking to the young woman cutting my hair about God. She explained she had two teenage sons and she would like to get them in church. We talked, and I gave my testimony and talked about how Jesus saved me at 52 years of age, and I brought up one of my favorite passages from Ephesians.
Ephesians 2:1-3 (ESV Strong’s)
1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
One through three describes how filthy we were in our sins. We were sons of disobedience in full rebellion against God. Our only desire was the world and the flesh. But then in verses, three through seven Paul speaks of God’s rich mercy.
Ephesians 2:3-7 (ESV Strong’s)
4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
I read these seven verses and I am filled with thanks and praise. There is nothing that I can add to this. It is such an immeasurable gift. My God is so Large, and I am so small, yet his arm is not so short that he cannot reach out to me… Praise God!
Yes, I am overwhelmed, but it does not stop there. In the past few days, God has reminded me of so many things.
Philippians 1
First in Philippians he reminded me to pray always and not stop.
Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV Strong’s)
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Then he reminded me about our struggles and the short time they will last.
A Brief Time of Struggle
The Holy Spirit, through God’s Word, reminded me that I must count struggles as joy… three times.
James 1:2-4 (ESV Strong’s)
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
1 Peter 1:3-9 (ESV Strong’s)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Romans 5:2-5 (ESV Strong’s)
2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
All these passages remind me that regardless of my circumstances God is with me, and as difficult, puzzling frustrating, or even painful He is with me, and I know He will bring me through it, for I know this to be true.
Romans 8:28 (ESV Strong’s)
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
There is nothing too large or too small that God cannot overcome.
Closing Thoughts
You know sometimes it is difficult to define struggles that affect us. It can be so many things. Sometimes it will cut us to the bone. Other times it will twist us into knots. Some of the time it will be a single event. Sometimes it will be a culmination of events that suddenly just become too heavy, and sometime the reason will not seem clear at all. But there is only one answer to all of these and that is seeking after God.
Seek Him in the silence. Seek Him in the darkness. Seek him in the confusion. Seek Him in the heartache. He never leaves us He is always there, but sometimes it takes us a while to open our eyes or adjust to the light when we come out of that dark spot that we have found ourselves.
Prayer
As I close this post, I am listening to Big Daddy Weave “I am Redeemed,” and I am reminded that I am Redeemed. I am just thankful that God is always there even when I might lose my focus. That trial in that quiet place was difficult. It was a lonely place. It seemed longer than it was, and it was never as quiet as it seemed, but it was quieter than I wanted, and I am thankful for the reminder of how that quiet feels, even if it is not as quiet as it used to be.
Father, thank you, Lord for always knowing what I need to grow and draw closer to you. Father, I pray a prayer of thanksgiving for your love, grace, and mercy. Please Lord let me always be near to you. Search my heart Lord and show me where I fall short so that I might repent and leave nothing between you and me. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.