This morning I went out for a walk with my dog Jersey Girl and my camera.  I took a couple pictures.  One was of a bull thistle and the other of a road with a blind corner and as I walked I pondered the two images and considered what they represented.  One a deception.  The other truth.

Deception

The bull thistle flower is beautiful, but just inches from the bloom are some nasty spines that draw blood and cause pain.  The blind corner is tough.  At night in the dark, t is very uncertain as to where it might lead but the light of the sun in the daytime makes it much less ominous.

As I considered these two images I thought of Hebrews Chapter 11, that talks of the heroes of the faith and the world around us.  I reflected on my life over the past few years and the work the Holy Spirit has done in me.  So, I started in Hebrews.  I began in Hebrews 10:32

Hebrews 10:32-11:3

I read the passage of the challenges of becoming a Christian at the time the book was written and thought my challenges were nothing compared to the early Christians in theses passages, but the deceiver still reached into his toolbox to find ways to keep me from knowing God, even if they had to be more subtle.   He used the bull thistles instead more direct threats, but if I fell for them the result is the same… Death.

Hebrews 10:32 – 11:3 (ESV) ³² But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, ³³ sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. ³⁴ For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. ³⁵ Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. ³⁶ For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. ³⁷ For,

“Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
38 but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him.”
39 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.

By Faith

¹ Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. ² For by it the people of old received their commendation. ³ By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.

I will admit that my trials were far different than those described in verses 32 and 33.  Mine were work stresses that appeared as career opportunities that took so much space in my mind and my time that saw the flower of the bull thistle but I did not notice the thorns drawing blood.

Reflections

I look back now and I see of course I had a good life, by worldly standards.  I had a good job and was compensated well, but there was something else happening that I did not notice so much.  I was so focused on doing my best, (being THE best), I did not really put God first.  I kept looking at the flower of the thistle rather than the thorns.  I was more a people pleaser than a God pleaser.

The thing is it was wreaking havoc on my body because I was spreading myself too thin.  I tried to do my study every morning and do my Bible study and prayer as well as work tasks and travel, but it was not working.

God knew and on some level, I knew it but refused to face it.  I was so used to taking care of myself that I was reluctant to surrender fully to God and completely trust Him.  I kept my eye on the thistle rather than trusting him enough to start out on that road with the blind turn.

Hebrews 11:1-3

I reread Hebrews 11:1-3 and noodled on it a bit, as my old boss Gina would say.

Hebrews 11:1-3 (ESV) By Faith

¹ Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. ² For by it the people of old received their commendation. ³ By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.

I like the whole passage, but I am looking at these verses one by one and seeing things in each that bring clarity to me

¹ Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

I reread verse one and I know in those early days I had the hope, but I am not sure that I had the conviction that I now have.  There was still a lot of self-reliance.  It took me a long time to realize that my reliance was to be on God in totality not on myself, and that came at a price.

² For by it the people of old received their commendation. ³ By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.

By faith, we can accept that the universe was created by the “word of God”.  Why did it take me so long to realize that he knows what is best for me and the right path for me?

Hebrews 11:8-9

Faith of Abraham

I read on to Hebrews 11:8-9 and I thought of that blind turn in the road.  Abraham, simply on the word of God, stepped out in faith and left his home, with no idea where he was going.

Hebrews 11:8-9 (ESV) ⁸ By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. ⁹ By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise.

I look at that and am thankful for the example of Abraham, and all the heroes of the faith listed in chapter 11 of Hebrews.

Reflections

For me, I had to experience health issue and lose some of my independence to admit how much I need God in my life.  The stroke was and is humbling but God did not do this to me.  If anything, He tried to convince me to slow down and focus less on the Bull Thistle, work, and trust in Him, the blind turn in the road, but I was too certain and too self-reliant than God-reliant.

I believed in Him with all my heart, but I did not take the time to realize all that he had for me until I was forced to slow down.

Closing Thoughts

I could easily have slipped into self-pity and there are those days when I get sad because I cannot go for a motorcycle rid or get out on my own, but God did something for me when this disability began.  He gave me a purpose and a path.  He set me on that road, that I had thought filled with uncertainty, and introduced Himself to me in a way that was different than in the beginning.

I got a study in the mail that I ordered before the stroke and it showed up my first couple weeks home and I was compelled to spend time with God in it.  Days are not always easy and I still have my moments of doubt and fear, but they are neither as deep or as long.  I still struggle at times with letting go and fully trusting God at times, but I am working through that every day in prayer and study.

You know I look around the world and I think of the persecuted Church and the horrible conditions they experience and pray for them to have strength.  For us here, it is more like the boiled frog.  We are in the water on the stove and if we are not careful we may not notice that the water is getting a bit warm.  I know I must keep my heart and mind in prayer and in God’s Word and keep the trust that His path is the right path.  Thistles are just that… Thistles; no matter how pretty the bloom.

Prayer

Father, thank you for the gift of your Holy Word.  Thank you for your guiding hand that shows me the way when I am not even looking for it.  I am overwhelmed by your love and patience.

Thank you, Lord, I pray that I might be quicker to listen and obey in all things, in Jesus name, Amen!