Lately, I have been having a difficult time with focus.  I am not sure what it is that causes it but the cloud that surrounds my thought process has been making things very difficult; especially study and writing.

This morning as I prayed I asked for help with this issue.  I wish it had a name or a clear description, but I cannot seem to find one, so I just call it a cloud.  But this morning, after my initial prayers, I was prompted to look at two passages.

The first passage came from K-Love’s verse of the day and was in Psalms.  The second came from my Keller devotional, and as I read them, I received some peace and contentment that only comes to me by the Holy Spirit through the Word of God.

Psalm 19

The first passage was Psalm 19. It is a Psalm of David and the Heading in my ESV translation is “The Law is Perfect.”  The K-Love verse was 19-1

Psalms 19:1 (ESV)

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God,

and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.

That is a wonderful verse, and it is such a blinding statement of the truth.  It touches my heart because I look for that every day and try to capture that beauty with my camera.  What a glorious God we serve that even this fallen world could be this beautiful.

I ended up reading all of Psalm 19, and it was very encouraging.  I love the closing verse of this Psalm.

Psalms 19:14 (ESV)

¹⁴ Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in your sight,

O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

What a wonderful way to close the Psalm.  As I pondered this passage, I remembered a passage in 1John that I love that speaks of God’s commandments.

1 John 5:3-5 (ESV)

³ For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. ⁴ For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. ⁵ Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

These thoughts just fill me with a sense of contentment, in spite of the fog, and as I reflect on these things, I look at Psalm 20.  The heading is “Trust in the Name of the Lord,” and I had to read that.

Psalm 20 Trust in the Name of the Lord

As I read this passage, I knew that this was part of what God was reminding me of in regards to this struggle I have been having.  I know that He is always with me.  I find great peace and contentment in His presence, but sometimes these struggles can become a distraction that can set me off track a bit, but today the Holy Spirit reminded me that I was not alone.  The opening verses touched my heart.  I ended up reading the whole chapter.

Psalms 20 (ESV)

¹ May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble!

May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!

² May he send you help from the sanctuary

and give you support from Zion!

³ May he remember all your offerings

and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices! Selah

⁴ May he grant you your heart’s desire

and fulfill all your plans!

⁵ May we shout for joy over your salvation,

and in the name of our God set up our banners!

May the LORD fulfill all your petitions!

⁶ Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;

he will answer him from his holy heaven

with the saving might of his right hand.

⁷ Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

⁸ They collapse and fall,

but we rise and stand upright.

⁹ O LORD, save the king!

May he answer us when we call.

It was hard to find the words to describe my response.  I was filled up with joy as I was reminded of regardless of my circumstances my trust rests in the Lord.  I am reminded of Paul’s letter to the Philippians in Chapter 4

Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV)

¹¹ Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ¹² I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. ¹³ I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

That is why I am so thankful for God’s Word because I know that when I struggle or when physically things are not working as they should if I will take it to the Lord He will show me what I need if I will listen and look. But He had more to share this morning in Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 1

After my time in Psalms, I read my devotional for the day from Timothy Keller and his reference verse for today was 1:12-18

Ecclesiastes 1:12-18 (ESV)

The Vanity of Wisdom

¹² I the Preacher have been king over Israel in Jerusalem. ¹³ And I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven. It is an unhappy business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. ¹⁴ I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

¹⁵ What is crooked cannot be made straight,

and what is lacking cannot be counted.

¹⁶ I said in my heart, “I have acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were over Jerusalem before me, and my heart has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.” ¹⁷ And I applied my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is but a striving after wind.

¹⁸ For in much wisdom is much vexation,

and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

I read this passage a couple of times in the devotional and then in my ESV translation.  I have not given as much effort in studying Ecclesiastes as other books so until today I had missed a key point in this passage.  I knew that striving to figure things out ourselves without God was vanity.  That I understood, but what I missed was the vexation and sorrow part.

We push and struggle to figure things out on our own to the point of frustration or sorrow before we seek God’s help and it is such a vain waste of time and energy.  “What is crooked [we] cannot [make] straight.”  It takes God’s intervention to resolve the issue, whatever it might be, and He always has the best solution.

Reflections

I thought over all of these things this morning.  Prayed and pondered, meditated and reflected and ultimately settled into contentment.  I received sufficient clarity to write this and to study just enough to respond the insight provided by the Holy Spirit through the Word of God.  I am thankful.

He leads me to one last place in His Word, and I will close with that.

Closing Thoughts

I do not know that this cloudy feeling will leave completely.  I know that it is frustrating, but I know that regardless God will use it to help me grow closer to Him.  He has shown me too many times that all things work together for good.  It does not mean there are not moments that I do not freak out a bit, but ultimately I place my trust in Him.  There are two passages that I always hold onto in the difficult moments.

The first is in 2 Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (ESV)

⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

The second is in Romans 8

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

These passages speak to me.  I have not seen what Paul has seen and I am not even saying that these issues I have are to keep me humble, but they do.  Every time I read 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 I am reminded of what Paul withstood, and I am reminded of how much I have to be thankful for.  The same is true of Romans 8:28.

I will never claim to understand any of the things that are taking place in my life or those around me.  I only know that I have been blessed beyond measure and every struggle has been met with blessings, hope, and strength; not because of anything I have done but because of what God has done in my heart.

Thanksgiving

I am filled with a thankful heart.  I am overwhelmed by the awesomeness of God and His GLORY!  There is none above Him.  I praise Him and to Him goes all the Glory.

Psalms 19:1 (ESV)

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God,

and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.

As for me… I am thankful.

Prayer

Father, thank you for this morning and the insight you afforded me.  Thank you for your holy Word and answered prayer.  Thank you for all that you do in us, through us, and around us, in Jesus name, I pray, Amen!